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Writer's pictureParita Sharma

Sigmund Freud- Ambivalence and Splitting - Ego defence mechanism - explained.

Updated: Dec 15, 2023

Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, developed several concepts to explain how the human mind works, including defense mechanisms, ambivalence, and splitting.

Defense mechanisms are psychological strategies that people use to cope with difficult emotions or situations. These strategies are often unconscious, meaning that people are not aware that they are using them. Defense mechanisms can be adaptive, helping individuals to deal with stress, but they can also be maladaptive, causing more harm than good.

Ambivalence refers to the experience of having conflicting feelings or attitudes towards someone or something. For example, a person might feel both love and hate towards a romantic partner or both attraction and repulsion towards a particular job.

Splitting is a defense mechanism that involves dividing the world and people into all-good or all-bad categories. When people use splitting, they view themselves and others as either entirely good or entirely bad, rather than recognizing the complexity of human nature.

Freud believed that these concepts were related and that they could be used to explain a range of psychological phenomena.

According to Freud, defense mechanisms, including splitting, are used to protect the ego, the part of the psyche that mediates between the internal world of the individual and the external world of reality. When faced with difficult emotions or situations, the ego may use defense mechanisms to protect itself from the anxiety or stress that these situations can cause. Freud believed that ambivalence is a common source of anxiety and that defense mechanisms, including splitting, can be used to cope with this anxiety. Splitting allows individuals to resolve their ambivalent feelings by creating a clear distinction between what is good and what is bad. For example, a person who has experienced a traumatic event might use splitting to cope with the experience. They may view themselves as entirely good and innocent, while viewing the perpetrator as entirely bad and evil. This black-and-white thinking can help the person to feel less anxious and overwhelmed by the trauma.

However, Freud also believed that splitting could be maladaptive and could lead to problems in relationships and in the individual's overall functioning. When people use splitting, they are unable to recognize the complexity of human nature and may struggle to understand others' perspectives or experiences.

Causes and Coping strategies

The causes of ambivalence and splitting can vary depending on the individual and the specific situation. However, there are some general factors that may contribute to the development of these defense mechanisms.

One factor is early life experiences, such as inconsistent or unpredictable parenting, which can lead to a sense of uncertainty and insecurity. This can make it difficult for individuals to develop a clear sense of self and to trust others.

Another factor is trauma or other stressful experiences, which can cause individuals to feel overwhelmed by their emotions and to use defense mechanisms, such as splitting, to cope with these feelings.


Coping Stratigies

Dealing with ambivalence, which is the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone, can be challenging. Here are some strategies to help you navigate through your ambivalence:

  1. Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on the reasons behind your ambivalence. Writing down your thoughts can be a helpful way to organize and understand them.

  2. Pros and Cons List: Make a list of the advantages and disadvantages of each aspect of the situation. This can help clarify what is most important to you.

  3. Seek Outside Perspectives: Sometimes talking to friends, family, or a therapist can provide new insights or help you see things from a different angle.

  4. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices like mindfulness and meditation can help you become more aware of your feelings and thoughts, making it easier to understand and process them.

  5. Explore Your Values: Understanding what you value most can guide your decision-making process and help resolve feelings of ambivalence.

  6. Set a Deadline: Giving yourself a deadline to make a decision can help motivate you to thoroughly consider your options and move forward.

  7. Experiment with Small Steps: If possible, take small steps or make minor decisions related to the issue. This can provide practical insights and lessen the pressure of making a larger decision.

  8. Accept Uncertainty: Sometimes, acknowledging that it's okay to not have all the answers or to feel unsure can be liberating and reduce the stress associated with ambivalence.

  9. Focus on What You Can Control: Concentrate on aspects of the situation that you have control over, rather than stressing over uncontrollable elements.

  10. Professional Help: If ambivalence is significantly impacting your life, seeking help from a counselor or therapist can provide professional guidance and strategies.

Remember, it's natural to feel ambivalent at times, and navigating through these feelings is a part of the decision-making process.


Dealing with splitting, a defense mechanism first identified by Freud, involves seeing the world in black and white, often idealizing certain aspects while devaluing others. This can manifest in relationships, self-image, and other areas of life. Here are strategies to help manage and overcome splitting:

  1. Awareness and Acknowledgment: The first step is recognizing when you're engaging in splitting. Being aware of your tendency to see things in extremes is crucial.

  2. Emotional Regulation: Learn techniques to manage intense emotions. Practices like deep breathing, mindfulness, and meditation can help you stay centered and avoid extreme reactions.

  3. Therapy: Psychotherapy, particularly cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), can be effective in addressing splitting. These therapies help in understanding and changing thought patterns and behaviors.

  4. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you track patterns in your thinking and behavior, making it easier to identify when you're splitting.

  5. Seeking Gray Areas: Intentionally challenge yourself to see the middle ground in situations. Practice seeing both the good and bad in people, events, and yourself, rather than viewing them as all good or all bad.

  6. Building Emotional Tolerance: Work on tolerating discomfort and mixed feelings without rushing to resolve them into extreme categories. This can be done through exposure to situations that evoke mild ambivalence and practicing staying with these feelings.

  7. Mindfulness and Acceptance: Mindfulness teaches acceptance of thoughts and feelings without judgment, helping to reduce the tendency to split.

  8. Relationship Skills: In relationships, practice seeing others as whole people with both positive and negative qualities. This can involve empathy training and communication skills.

  9. Educate Yourself: Understanding the concept of splitting and its impacts can provide insight and motivation to change. Reading and learning about this defense mechanism can be helpful.

  10. Support Systems: Lean on friends, family, or support groups who understand your struggle. They can provide perspective and support when you’re dealing with black-and-white thinking.

  11. Incremental Changes: Realize that changing deep-seated defense mechanisms like splitting takes time. Celebrate small victories and be patient with yourself as you work towards change.

  12. Self-Compassion: Practice self-compassion. Understand that everyone has flaws and makes mistakes, and this does not make them entirely bad or unworthy.


Remember, overcoming splitting is a process that requires time and effort. It's often beneficial to work with a therapist who can provide guidance tailored to your specific needs and circumstances.


Know the difference


Splitting and cognitive errors such as black-and-white thinking are related but distinct concepts.


Splitting is a defense mechanism that involves dividing the world and people into all-good or all-bad categories. When people use splitting, they view themselves and others as either entirely good or entirely bad, rather than recognizing the complexity of human nature.


Black-and-white thinking, on the other hand, is a cognitive error or distortion that involves viewing things in all-or-nothing terms. For example, someone might think that they are either a complete success or a total failure, without recognizing that there are many degrees of success and failure in between.


While both splitting and black-and-white thinking involve viewing things in simplistic terms, they differ in their underlying mechanisms. Splitting is a defense mechanism that serves to protect the ego from overwhelming emotions, while black-and-white thinking is a cognitive error that reflects a limited or rigid way of thinking.


In terms of their consequences, both splitting and black-and-white thinking can lead to problems in relationships and functioning. Individuals who use splitting may struggle to see the nuance and complexity of human nature, while those who engage in black-and-white thinking may miss important details or opportunities for growth.


However, it's worth noting that not all black-and-white thinking is a cognitive error. In some situations, it may be appropriate or even necessary to view things in all-or-nothing terms. For example, in a life-or-death situation, there may be no middle ground between success and failure.


Overall, while splitting and black-and-white thinking share some similarities, they are distinct concepts that arise from different underlying mechanisms and have different consequences.


Finally, developing a more nuanced and complex understanding of others and the world can be helpful in managing ambivalence and splitting. This may involve challenging black-and-white thinking and recognizing the shades of gray that exist in all situations and relationships. In summary, Freud's concepts of defense mechanisms, ambivalence, and splitting are all related and can be used to explain how people cope with difficult emotions and situations. While defense mechanisms can be adaptive, including splitting, they can also be maladaptive and can lead to problems in relationships and functioning.


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