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Writer's pictureParita Sharma

Pre-Marriage Conversations

In India, the process of marriage can be a complex interplay of traditions, rituals, and negotiations. As with many cultures, marriage in India is not just a union between two individuals but also between their families. As a result, both parties typically have a range of questions they ask each other before the union is finalized. Here are some common questions that are asked, keeping in mind that specifics can vary based on religion, region, and individual families:

1. Personal Questions:

  • What are your values and beliefs about marriage and family?

  • Do you have any past relationships or commitments that I should know about?

  • What are your career goals and ambitions?

  • What are your views on religion and spirituality?

  • How do you handle stress, disagreements, or conflicts?

  • What are your habits and lifestyles? For example, dietary preferences, exercise, hobbies, and social activities.

  • What are your priorities?

2. Family Questions:

  • Can you tell me more about your family? Their professions, nature, etc.?

  • How involved are they in your day-to-day life and decisions?

  • Are there any family obligations or responsibilities that I should be aware of?

  • What are the family's views on post-marriage living arrangements? (E.g., living with in-laws or separately)

3. Financial Questions:

  • What is your financial standing, including savings, debts, and liabilities?

  • How do you view financial responsibilities in a marriage?

  • Are there any financial responsibilities towards your family?

  • What are your views on both partners working post-marriage?

4. Future Planning:

  • Do you wish to settle in India or are you open to moving abroad?

  • How many children would you like to have, if any? What are your views on family planning?

  • What are your views on education and upbringing of children?

5. Health-Related:

  • Are there any existing medical or mental health conditions or health concerns I should be aware of?

  • What are your views on lifestyle habits like drinking, smoking, and dietary preferences?

6. Matchmaking Questions (often relevant in arranged marriages):

  • Why do you believe our match could be a good one?

  • Have you met or considered other potential partners before this?

7. Social & Lifestyle:

  • What are your social habits? How often do you like to go out, entertain guests, travel, etc.?

  • How do you usually spend your weekends or free time?

8. Professional Lifestyle:

1. Career Ambitions and Goals:

  • What are your long-term career aspirations?

  • How do you envision your professional journey in the next 5, 10, or 15 years?

  • Are you satisfied with your current job role? If not, what changes are you seeking?

2. Work-Life Balance:

  • How many hours do you typically work in a week?

  • How do you manage stress or pressure from work?

  • How often do you travel for work, and for how long are you usually away?

3. Relocation and Mobility:

  • Are you open to relocating for a job opportunity?

  • How would you feel if I needed to relocate for my career?

  • Is remote work a possibility in your profession, or do you need to be on-site?

4. Education and Continuous Learning:

  • Are there any further educational qualifications or certifications you're planning on pursuing?

  • How do you stay updated with the latest trends and changes in your industry?

5. Financial Aspects:

  • Are you comfortable discussing your current salary and future earnings potential?

  • How do you approach decisions about job changes, especially if there might be a financial trade-off?

  • What are your views on investing in career advancement opportunities, like courses or seminars?

6. Job Stability and Security:

  • How stable do you consider your current job or industry?

  • Have you thought about what you'd do if faced with unexpected job loss or a major industry shift?

7. Professional Values and Ethics:

  • What values are important to you in a workplace?

  • How do you handle situations at work where your personal values may be challenged?

8. Entrepreneurial Aspirations:

  • Have you ever thought about starting your own business or being self-employed?

  • If you plan to start a venture, what kind of financial and time commitment do you envision?

9. Work Culture:

  • How would you describe your work environment and culture?

  • Do you engage in social events or team activities outside of regular work hours?

10. Post-Marriage Career Decisions:

  • How might our marriage influence your professional choices?

  • What are your views on parental leave, should we decide to start a family?

Remember, the nature and extent of these questions can vary based on individual preferences, level of traditionalism, urban versus rural settings, and many other factors. It's also crucial to approach these questions with sensitivity and respect, keeping in mind the cultural nuances and avoiding overly intrusive or offensive queries.


While these questions provide a comprehensive view of one's professional stance, they should be asked in a manner that respects privacy and understands individual choices. The aim is to align expectations, understand potential future scenarios, and ensure compatibility in terms of career and professional growth.

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